Guys, let me tell you about orcas.
Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.
The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:
THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
Why has nobody mentioned what’s happening in the original gif?
This is how orcas hunt - or, it’s one of the ways they do. They have a ton of tricks and techniques they use to fuck up everything below them on the food chain, and that gif portrays my personal favorite.
Orcas will literally BEACH THEMSELVES to grab unsuspecting seals (or whatever else happens to be splashing around in the surf) and snarf them down like hot dogs. Yeah, that’s right. This is a 6-ton apex predator, crashing right out of the fucking water to snatch their prey right off the beach. Any other animal that size would get stuck there and die, but do you see that fucker? He fucking wriggles right back into the surf. An orca can get all the way up onto dry land and still manage to wiggle their way back into the water to fuck up more shit on another day. There is literally no other sea-dwelling creature of comparative size with that ability - most sea animals lack the muscular strength to move without enough water supporting their weight.
Orcas have also been known to eat moose. Yeah, that’s right. Fucking MOOSE.
You don’t fuck with orcas.
Remember that orcas also eat white sharks and baby whales. They basically eat anything available, like humans.
(They also speak different languages depending the area where they live - for example New Zealand orcas have a twist in their language, while Canada orcas spoke with more musical and longer tone. Family pods also have different dialects. And every orca has a unique voice of its own!)
Source for Comic: Inky Girl
1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.
2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar.
3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.
4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic.
5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great."
¡estoy viva! (no sé ni cuándo llegó esto). ¡no tengo tu nueva dirección! ¿la tengo? (ni la vieja, vaya).
this is my favourite quote ever
[rebloggable by request]
Well, first of all, WELCOME TO ONE OF MY PET PEEVES.
A female character does not have to be “strong” (whatever your definition of that is) to be a good character.
Women can be strong, or wussy, or emotional, or stoic, or needy, or independent, and still be legitimate people and interesting characters.
In our totally understandable desire to see portrayals of strong women (in reaction to decades of damsels in distress and women as appendages), we’ve somehow backed ourselves into this corner where the only acceptable portrayal of a woman in the media is a strong, kick-ass woman. That is not doing women any favors. It just leads to the attitude that you have to be ONE WAY ONLY to be legit as a woman. You shouldn’t have to be Natasha Romanoff or Xena to be considered a good character. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Buffy as much as the next person, but that should not be the only acceptable portrayal. It should be okay for a female character NOT to be strong, too. Let’s take Molly Hooper as an example. She is not the stereotypical “strong” woman. But hell, she went through medical school, didn’t she? She’s smart, and she’s funny, and she serves a story function - she is not a major character, but she doesn’t have to be. But her character gets criticized because she pines after Sherlock. What, you never pined after somebody? Did it make you invalid as a person? You never got a bit silly over a crush? I know I did. And I still consider myself a strong woman. It should be okay for Molly to have a crush on Sherlock without getting the “oh, she’s so pathetic, what a terrible example, what a horrible female character” thing she so often gets. Yes, because it’s so terrible that a female character should reflect an experience that like 99% of us have had.
Screw writing “strong” women. Write interesting women. Write well-rounded women. Write complicated women. Write a woman who kicks ass, write a woman who cowers in a corner. Write a woman who’s desperate for a husband. Write a woman who doesn’t need a man. Write women who cry, women who rant, women who are shy, women who don’t take no shit, women who need validation and women who don’t care what anybody thinks. THEY ARE ALL OKAY, and all those things could exist in THE SAME WOMAN. Women shouldn’t be valued because we are strong, or kick-ass, but because we are people. So don’t focus on writing characters who are strong. Write characters who are people.
The only bad female character, if you ask me (and you did), is one who’s flat. One who isn’t realistic. One who has no agency of her own, who only exists to define other characters (usually men). Write each woman you write as if she has her own life story, her own motivations, her own fears and strengths, and even if she’s only in the story for one page, she will be a real person, and THAT is what we need. Not a phalanx of women who can karate-chop your head off, but REAL women, who are people, with all the complexity and strong and not-strong that goes with it.
This is why I disagree with the “damsel in distress” criticism of Irene in the last scene of Scandal. Here’s the thing about being a damsel in distress…it’s only bad if that’s all she is. If the character’s defining characteristic is being a damsel in distress, that’s bad. But if an otherwise complex character with lots of other agency and actions happens to be in distress, then…that’s all it is. She is in distress. That happens. Characters are often in distress, or there would be no plots. Should a female character never be allowed to be in distress, at ALL, to be valid? No.
A strong female character is one who is defined by her own characteristics, history and personality, and not solely by the actions or needs of other characters. She is a person in the story, not a prop. That is the best definition I can come up with. Note that my definition did not involve martial arts.
That was probably longer than you were anticipating! I’ve had that percolating for a long time.
i am so fucking sick of ur deep as fuck shit night vale ur fucking me up
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